Surviving Coercive Control: A Courageous Account from Northern Ireland

A Northern Ireland man has opened up about the abuse and coercive control he suffered at the hands of his ex-partner. Barry McGovern's Ordeal Barry McGovern, 45, originally from Killyclogher in Co Tyrone but now based in Newtownabbey, is speaking out after his former partner was convicted of assault in a bid to help other male and female victims of domestic abuse in Northern Ireland. His former partner, Carlos Martins, was found guilty of common assault in November 2024 and handed a five-month prison sentence, suspended for two years. The Spiral into Control Barry shares how the relationship led to isolation, stress, and fear, recounting, "I met him through Tinder in September 2023... At that stage, it was real walking on eggshells the whole time..." Health Struggles The mental strain translated into physical deterioration for Barry: "It's just real mental control, but I ended up losing almost three stone...living on my nerves and feeling very controlled." Breaking Free Barry's breaking point came in January 2024 when the situation escalated, leading to police involvement. He reflects, "Looking back now I was not fit, physically or mentally to deal with this..."